Red Healing
by ShunKickShunKers
Summary: Sequel to 'Red Psycho' -better read this one before.   Five weeks after the revenge...COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**Hi there! After a few requests (seriously, I **_**was**_** surprised that fic was ever appreciated lol) here is the sequel to Red Psycho. Like its predecessor, it will be a short fic of few chapters. And expect a more or less bittersweet ending, I'm in the mood for angst these days –that's why it came up so quickly, by the way xD.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mentalist, just my crazy mind. My English grammar isn't he best. Hope you'll enjoy it anyway : ) **

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**Red Healing**

Lisbon fell backwards against the wall of her bathroom with a loud 'thump'. The letter she was holding hit the ground unceremoniously and she raised her hands to her mouth. A wave of nausea hit her again, and she stumbled clumsily against the sink. No. It couldn't be happening. It just couldn't.

Tears tickled her eyes and she bit back a sob. Breathe deeply. In and out. She closed her eyes and repeated the motion in the hope of cooling down. Her limps were still shaking slightly, but the destabilizing feeling was gone now. The small woman rested her forehead against the glass of her bathroom mirror and sighed. The coolness of the glass created a contrast with her burning skin, and she instantly felt better. She hated it, not being in control of her actions, of her thoughts. And what was happening –possibly happening- to her _was_ out of control.

It was supposed to be reassurance. After the Carmen incident five weeks prior, after being forced into Jane's arms, she had been feeling weird, acting out of character. Van Pelt had booked an appointment with a doctor she knew out of concern, and the said doctor made a few test. The results were written black on white, on the fateful mail she opened only five minutes ago.

She was pregnant.

She was pregnant with Jane's child, after an unwilling sexual intercourse orchestrated by her former shrink and a mad hypnotizer woman who both swore revenge on them. Now, the latter was dead –she and her team had to go for confirmation of the body- and the former in jail for quite some years. Of course, they hadn't planned she'd survive, and by extension couldn't know she'd ended up this way, but once again, Lisbon couldn't help but feel completely shaken. Jane had been right; the two criminals had managed to fuck up their life greatly. If Dr Carmen knew, she could see the huge smirk already.

Another dreadful thought formed into her head. What was she going to say to the team? To her boss? Van Pelt will want to know what the doctor said, worried like she usually was. Cho and Rigsby will soon notice something was off with her, and blame it again –rightfully- one Jane's sudden departure.

Lisbon pushed the idea aside and headed to her bedroom, letting herself fall on the bed backwards. Her right hand slipped on her still flat stomach and tears formed again. Pregnant. She was pregnant. She bit her lower lip and closed her eyes, pushing the salted drops to slide along her cheeks. She didn't want that baby. She didn't want that baby yet she knew more than anyone how precious and fragile a life could be. Her job pointed it out to her _everyday single day_. Denying the right to live to this baby was like…murdering it. And she couldn't let that happen, no matter if she wanted it or not.

Fingers stroke her stomach slowly. The gesture soothed her just a little, before something else came nagging her.

What was she supposed to say to Jane? What was she supposed to do, after all this time?

_Flashback_

_Jane was nowhere in sight when she entered the bullpen, so she assumed he didn't want to show up immediately. Somewhere, Lisbon felt relieved, and __at the same time terrible to feel so. He wasn't responsible for his actions like Rigsby was, but there was still a difference between hitting a suspect and trying to push a colleague off a roof and a real rape. For both their sake, she hope she'd be able to cope with him the next few days. Her subordinates hadn't arrived yet, so she settled in her office, waiting for them to arrive. _

_Melissa Hawkins' case had been closed, and the familiar task of paperwork was awaiting her now. Lisbon buried herself in the routine, acknowledging her colleagues' arrival by greeting back when they saluted her. None of them dared bother her and she was grateful for it. Indiscreet questions and nosiness was for Jane only. Speaking of Jane…she checked her watch and realized he should already have been there for some time. She was about to phone him when Hightower arrived __with an announcement that stunned them all. He had left them._

_End flashback_

At the time, she couldn't believe her ears. She was furious. Literally furious he hadn't told her. Cho and Rigsby were livid and Van Pelt bitter, but contrary to the others, not that much surprised. The redhead was anticipating something like that, saying he did it for everyone's sake. The fact she could 'understand' him so well created tensions between her and Rigsby. Or more accurately, created doubts about their apparent –and obvious- closeness. Van Pelt had been the only one convinced he wouldn't hurt Lisbon the whole time, and that detail screamed she and Jane had been talking out the CBI walls. When anyone mentioned it, she would politely request them to stay out of her business.

And so, she hadn't called him for five weeks.

Lisbon laughed bitterly at the irony. Despite hating him for his sudden decision, she understood him. His latest visit was a 'goodbye', his move was to literally give her space; she knew she could join him whenever she wanted it. And Hightower had been clear; it was just a temporary transfer. Knowing him, Jane would have managed to piss off every team of San Francisco in less than what…three, four months tops? The thought made her smirk. She really was an idiot for allowing his stunts to go on…

Her cell phone rang. Lisbon stretched her arm reluctantly and caught it from her nightstand. She hoped this was a case. At least, she would be distracted for some time. Ah, Cho calling.

"Lisbon" she greeted, her voice sounding tired at her own ears.

"Boss, we have a new case…" Just like expected. At the trailing of his voice though, she smelt something fishy, so she waited. "It's one of _his_…"

Her blood froze and her eyes widened. Damn, the man just had to reappear at this precise moment! The hand on her stomach stilled. She thanked Cho, assured him she would be soon at the scene. When she hung up, she knew what she had to do next and dialed a familiar number. No matter how dreaded she felt about seeing him again, she knew it would be worst if she kept that from him. Jane was the only one who could understand the criminal named Red John after all.

To her utter relief, she fell on his answering machine and left a quick, awkward message. Something in the lines of 'Hi…he hit again, so I guess we'll be expecting you soon…bye". The underlined mention of Red John would be enough for him to come back anyway. And while she stood up and picked randomly a clean outfit, she left a bitter laugh, once again.

Fate really loved to torture her lately…

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'**Fate' has a name in this fic...and it would be mine niark. How was it for a beginning? **

**Next chapter, Jane comes back…**

**Thanks for reading so far!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Uh…sorry for the late update. I am actually duelling with a nightmare in which is needed a pen, a paper and a classroom, and where every miserable student having miserably failed their exams have to sit in a few hours. ****Thinking of it, it **_**has**_** been a while since I've updated this one…Anyway, here is the following. I got the ending in my head (just have to write it now) and hopefully it will not take as long to update next chapter.**

**Thanks to ****MentalistLover; ****Simonisthecuttestmentalist;;**** Anna ****chocolateymenta;**** 13 Jo; ****leelou09; ****lucyyh; ****Jisbon4ever; ****Iloveplotbunnies;**** Alejandra (very welcome. Hope you'll enjoy it); ****raquelvalente91 ****for their reviews! Thanks for the alerts and favourites too!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mentalist, just my crazy mind. My English grammar isn't the best, hope you'll enjoy it anyway –won't blame you if you don't ;)**

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**Red Healing**

**2**

When Patrick Jane checked his cell phone, he wasn't expecting a missing call from Lisbon. In his chaotic yet methodical mind, the stubborn and recently destabilized woman shouldn't have dialled his number before another month. He didn't expect the content of the message either.

_Hi…he hit again, so I guess we'll be expecting you soon…bye_

He dropped soundlessly in the couch of his temporary apartment in San Francisco.

One month prior, the first thing he would have done was to throw himself on his suitcase, run to the airport and buy a ticket for the soonest flight to Sacramento. Egocentrically focused on the man that butchered his family, he wouldn't have noticed the hint of vulnerability in her voice. That very hint that made him wonder if it was a good idea to come back now. He did made a promise to his family, to a dying Bosco. He did swear his death. But that was before he hurt Lisbon.

If he went back, he would have to face her again, and he wasn't sure what to find. Of course, there were others. Van Pelt, Rigsby, Cho…he would have to deal with them too. Just Rigsby; he corrected himself. He renewed contact with the two others. They hadn't completely forgiven him, but understood why he acted this way. He even met Van Pelt a week prior in San Francisco and had lunch with her. The redhead and he had talked all afternoon before she took her flight back home. In two days he would have seen Cho and Elise. The Asian man had contact him the previous day because his girlfriend wanted to see an exhibition of some foreign artist. Of course, Cho didn't need his help, but Jane was grateful he tried to make peace in such a side way and agreed immediately to buy the tickets in advance.

Despite himself, a small smile grew on his lips.

He shouldn't complain; she was giving him the best excuse to come back to Sacramento. He missed working with her. The teams in San Francisco never let him have his way, as if trying to control him was a password between them, and they were too easy to infuriate. At least, Lisbon listened to him and argued with his ideas when they ignored him completely.

As Jane started packing, a small thought came nagging his mind. If he was truly honest with himself, he should confess that what he really missed was her smile. And not any smile. That little amused yet sincere curve at corner of her lips accompanied with the cheery eye sparkling with mischievousness. This time, if she gave him the chance, he will not fail her. If she managed to forgive him, he promised himself he would not destroy whatever was left between them, and make her smile like this forever.

**-RH-**

The first thing Lisbon did, waking up, was to consult her messages. As she expected more or less, her text or vocal list was empty. It shouldn't have bothered her that much, so she tried not to think of it too hard before dressing up and getting ready for work. Even if Jane wasn't coming back, Red John was still there and her first duty was to catch him, not moon over an empty messaged phone. So when she entered the bullpen that morning, she just greeted the co-workers already there and hurried to her office, ready for a long and tiring day.

Like always, Red John didn't left any clues. No fingerprints, no evidence, no unknown DNA…just the motive. Lisbon shook her head and sat in her chair. The file was opened on her desk and she started reading it all the way through, in case something escaped them during their first investigation. As a Red John case, they didn't wasted time on research. The families had already been interviewed and soon, a few suspects would be interrogated in the morning.

The whole fuss kept her mind alert and busy until one pm. Now, she was taking advantage of an alone-time to breathe a little. She had sent Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt away for lunch pretending she'd eat at the office. Of course, she didn't have anything eatable at hand's reach, but that detail would be taken care of later…

A loud protest of her stomach convinced her she needed food _now_. Before standing up and putting her plan in action, Lisbon checked her surroundings were empty, and set a hand on her stomach. She bit her lower lip and started rubbing it slowly. Were the results real? She didn't feel pregnant at all…didn't have nausea or sudden strange cravings yet. Perhaps it would come later…A wave of sadness mixed with anger fell upon her. It wasn't the baby's fault, but she couldn't help but hate its existence. Her fists tightened to help her swallow the need to cry here and there. Damn Carmen and damn Hendrix! They really managed well…

After deep breaths, Lisbon eventually stood up and headed towards the door, determined not to break down. Once she had that stomach full, she would plunge back into the Red John case and forget everything else. A distracted movement of the arm made a book on her desk fall. The time she recorded the object's trajectory, lowered quickly to catch it, her feet bumped against each other and made her trip.

She didn't notice the door opening and the harsh contact with the floor never came. Instead, she landed against something soft and firm.

"Well if I knew you'd be so happy to see me, I would have come back way earlier."

A familiar tone, the slight tensed and mocking tone, the scent of cinnamon…Lisbon jumped on her feet and stepped back. Jane was half-lying on the floor, hair in a mess like usual, wearing his trademark suit. Judging by his appearance –and the small suitcase rolled on the side- he had just arrived from San Francisco.

"Why the surprised look?" he asked, his grin faltering a little in front of her lack of reaction. "You did tell me you were expecting me soon."

He stood up and wiped away the nonexistent dust off his pants. Then, he picked up his suitcase and placed it against his leg like a faithful dog. The whole time, Lisbon just stared at him, astonished too see him here, in the office, where –she admitted inwardly- he belonged.

"Hello, Lisbon?"

Thankfully the bullpen was empty. She bit her lower lip before blurting she was about to get out for lunch and invited him to tag along. When Jane agreed, he didn't know if she felt relieved or wary. One positive thing was that she didn't seem to shake anymore when she stood near him. She didn't push him away yet, so he believed it was a good sign. They drove to a small café where Jane hurried to order a ham and cheese sandwich and a black coffee for Lisbon and a chicken sandwich for him. Once they were well-settled, she gave him the file full of info they gathered until now and summarized its content:

"The victims are Howard and Vanessa Campbell. They had been happily married for five years, no children. She was an author and he was a journalist."

Jane frowned at the description. That wasn't the kind of profile Red John was after. He could understand the young woman's death, but why kill the man? As if reading his last thought, she added:

"They were writing a book on Red John. Most of it is just a nice analysis of his portrait, and a good description of all his…artistic work. They don't give an interpretation though. Maybe Red John didn't like their project and decided to make his point."

Jane nodded absentmindedly and checked the victim's profiles. The sandwiches arrived and the agent started eating while Jane busied himself in reading. She was halfway threw her food when he suddenly asked:

"Have the forensics found a notebook of some sort? From what I read, those types of people must have kept individual notes."

"Vanessa Campbell held an electronic diary. Apparently no-one knew about it, not even her husband. She hid it in a bunch of stuff in her cupboard. I let Van Pelt scanning it for anything interesting. I suppose you'll take a look later."

He nodded and his gaze became distant. Lisbon knew that expression. He was lost in a deep reflection and she wondered how his complicated mind worked. She couldn't help but smile slightly. It was nice to have him around, and act as if nothing happened. Oddly this time, he wasn't into his Red-John-frenzy. He was calmer, speaking with more sense and cool headed. Lisbon didn't know if she had to worry or be satisfied with this change of behavior. She wondered a second if it had anything to do with their…incident.

Later, Jane paid the bill –"_my treat"_- and headed back to the car. As she shut the , Lisbon had to notice he had been quieter that usual

Her cell phone rang, distracting her from her contemplation. When she recognized her rookie's ID, she picked up without thinking twice.

"Lisbon."

"_I read the diary during my lunchtime, and I think I find something interesting."_

"All right, I'm putting you on speaker" she replied, pushing the button for Jane's benefit. His attention was caught immediately, and the concentrated gaze reappeared.

"_Vanessa Campbell mentioned a few times a man who had info on Red John. Listen_" Van Pelt quoted the passage that caught her attention: "'_That guy, Ryan, he's a real treasure! Seriously, I so want to meet him once again! I was lucky to meet him at the kid's playground. He is a very nice and charming man. Boy, I never met someone who cares so much about kids…and he is a real source of info!'. I called a few friend I know who often goes to the park, and asked them if they knew someone according to the description. Four people gave me the same name, Ryan Smiley. I ran a background research on him, and he seems to be the ladies' man._" She paused a second and added with a hint of disgust: "_He even used to participate to Paul Fricke's seminars."_

Lisbon frowned in disbelief. That was quick.

"Okay thanks. Can you send me that man's address? I'll be going there. Any news from Cho and Rigsby?"

_"The husband's side seems to be a dead end_" Van Pelt replied. "_No-one in his surroundings seems suspicious, though one of his colleagues admitted Mrs. Campbell was a pure gossiper and loved to throw unfounded rumors around, and that their couple was coming across a hard period. They are still looking around for eventual other suspects, but up till now, nothing striking."_

Lisbon remained silent a few seconds to register the information.

"All right, thank you. Keep on with the good work."

There was a pause during which Jane was certain the rookie was savoring the compliment.

"_Boss? In case he's not around, can you say hello to Jane for me please?"_ the redhead added with a knowing smile in her voice. Lisbon wasn't sure she wanted to know how Van Pelt was informed of his return. "_His suitcase was in your office, and we never go out on our own to visit suspects."_

"I will, thank you Van Pelt" the petite agent replied before hanging up and turning towards Jane: "You heard, you have her hello."

The blond man grinned. Something in her stomach melted, and she smiled in return. Despite what happened, she found it amazing the baby blue eyes and slirting smile attracted her.

"Let go then."

**-RH-**

The visit had been quicker than she thought. The man was the adoptive father of three kids and on the procedure of welcoming another child. He had affirmed that since he had been well raised by his father alone, he could manage the same with a big family –something he had always dreamt of. Even if he acted a little coolly towards them, he had been compliant and cooperative. He confessed having an affair with Vanessa Campbell, which quit as soon as he learned she was married.

"She was upset, but I'm not into adultery" he had said to them with a shrug when the blond man asked why.

And when Jane smartly pointed out his family name and hinted a connection with the serial killer, Ryan Smiley had laughed and shook his head.

"Yeah, that's what she told me too. That's what a lot of people interested in that man tell me. And man, she was a hundred per cent into that investigation and her book. Guess that wwhy she used it as a pretext to come to see me."

Since nothing else seemed to strike the agent or the consultant, they left.

When they stepped out of the house, Lisbon turned to her partner and asked him what he thought about the Smileys.

"I see a cheerful family" he started "With warm bounds between them. Obviously the kids are happy, and the father…well it's highly unusual for a single man to adopt so many children, despite his reasoning, don't you think?"

Lisbon had to admit he was right. The elder, Carter, was way too polite for a kid of nine years old. His younger sisters, Janie and Kris, were as well-broad. Too well-broad.

"You suspect something?" she asked, brows joining in a frown.

"Nothing abusive…but it's too perfect. I mean, the smiles are perfect, the behavior is perfect, even the floors are perfectly clean."

"And so? They are a nice, tidy family. He knows how to make himself obey."

It wasn't to contradict him, rather to see how he was going to defend himself. She had found the atmosphere odd too, but couldn't place her finger on what exactly. Despite having odd opinions and hunches, the man always managed to make her understand herself better without trying. That was something she always appreciated in him -but will never admit under torture.

"It's true you need to set boundaries on children, but they will always try to cross it at some point" he explained. "The temptation of staring at a stranger or asking question is natural. They" he nodded towards the house "didn't do that once. They are too polite and behaving. I don't know how that man is raising them, but it's not sane. My wife and I" he paused again, a flash of pain crossed his eyes before he went on a softer tone: "used to give Sara more freedom. Strict education, but lots of love and understanding. A child isn't an animal…it has to be loved. A parent not capable of loving his child is damaging his social life, and despite the show, I don't think Ryan Smiley capable of giving true love. It's more like an ideal..."

Though she knew the remark wasn't directed towards her, Lisbon couldn't help the guilt creeping inside. Yes, she didn't want the growing being, but at the same time she couldn't refuse it. When she used to take care of her brothers, she always managed to hold on because of the love and affection they gave her back. The remembrance of that feeling made her want to confess to Jane now, but they had a case to solve right now. That subject could wait; besides she still didn't know how to tackle it yet.

During the drive, Jane couldn't help but wonder…Despite their fresh reunion and her apparent good reaction towards him, something was off with her. When he mentioned his family earlier, a new emotion had appeared on her face, something he couldn't identify yet seemed familiar. Did evoking his family upset her more than he thought? Or was it the fact she feared something was wrong with the children? He hated seeing her like this, and for once, didn't try to make conversation on the way back.

When they entered the bullpen, he was greeted by surprised glances from co-workers –of course everyone knew he had been sent in San Francisco for some time. Cho and Rigsby still hadn't come back, and Van Pelt was glaring at her screen, eyes closely narrowed. She greeted them with a bitter smile before returning on her research. When Lisbon approached

"Ryan Smiley's father was a cop and his mother abandoned him when he was around ten. I wanted to see if he had any clinical history."

"Why the focus on Smiley?" Lisbon asked, disconcerted. Okay, she had doubts too, but Van Pelt didn't even meet the man.

"I can't get access to his medical card" she replied. "And my informers told me he acted sometimes creepily. I trust Emma's judgment, even if she is naïve sometimes." A note on the computer signaled in bright red letters that the connection has failed once again. The redhead cursed, making the two older glanced at each other –Van Pelt never swore- before she sighed and picked up the phone.

"Is it illegal to ask an intern to consult a doctor's files for the interest of an investigation?" she asked, glancing at Lisbon before doing anything else. When the senior agent shook her head, the rookie dialed a number and explained:

"I'm going to ask a friend if he can help me through this…sorry if I look obsessed by that man, boss, but I can't help it…"

Lisbon's attention was rather focused on something else.

"How many contacts do you have exactly Van Pelt?"

She surprised them both by smirking:

"Someone tipped me that contacts could be useful…so I started going out more often and making friends. You should see how many people are willing to help the police in the shadows...it boosts their inward ego" she ended by shrugging and pressed the button 'call'.

The petite agent noticed the proud beam on Jane's face. Now she could only pray he didn't corrupt her too much…

"I'll be in my office" the brunette suddenly announced. "I still have a few papers to complete on…the Carmen-Hendrix case. Call me if you find anything."

"Will do boss."

Jane watched her depart and, once he was sure she had closed the door, leaned towards Van Pelt while she waited for an interlocutor to pick up.

"Can you ran a check-up background on each kid Ryan Smiley adopted?" he asked the redhead. "I have a feeling about them."

**-RH-**

Lisbon was putting her pen down when the door opened and closed sharply. Jane was suddenly standing in front of her, eyes alert and warning.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked. She frowned, but more in defiance than real answer.

"I don't know what you're talking about" she replied dryly. "I'm fine."

The unwanted living being in her stomach could not make her fine.

"You've been avoiding me."

Of course she had. If she started talking with him about the Smiley children, she will start evoking their unborn child. And telling Jane flat he was going to be a father while they were working on the case of the man who killed his previous family…

"After what happened, I think I still have the right to be wary" she replied, feeling bad using this excuse to avoid his questions. As usual, he saw right through her.

"This morning you weren't. You were glad to see me" No shit Sherlock. "I don't know what's going with you, but Lisbon, talk to me!"

She answered truthfully this time.

"I don't want to. Not right now. Can you please get out so I can do my work?"

Jane threw her a disappointed glare and turned heels. As he stormed out of the room, slamming the door, Lisbon closed the file of the Carmen/Hendrix case for good. Inside, her heart was beating wildly yet clenching. She bit her lower lip and pulled back the tears threatening to storm out. A hand automatically lowered to her stomach, and she absentmindedly stroked it through her clothes. Perhaps the paperwork was done, but the consequences were still lying there, invisible to the eye. And she will soon need to talk with Jane. At the end of this case, she promised herself.

Lisbon shook her head, sighing. She was such a coward.

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**Thanks for reading so far!**


	3. Chapter 3

**It has been so long I kinda forgot what I was intending to do with this plot Oo". Anyway here is chapter 3****.**

**Warning: A bit gruesome but I guess working in a mortician's shop during Christmas vacation will do that to you uu". This chapter is rated M for the ending. Way darker than I thought it would be so beware! :s**

**Thanks to Jbon; leelou; lucyyh; Mabeline36; ****TheMentalistGirl;**** Anna (hope you'll enjoy this one xD); ****Jisbon4ever**** ;13 Jo; MentalistLover; ****Simonisthecuttestmentalist**** for their reviews. Thanks for the **

**This one is for Anna –thank you for poking me ;) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mentalist, I do not make money on those fics and I definitely don't deny having a thing for AUs. This chapter was not beta-ed so mistakes are mine. Hope you'll enjoy this (won't blame you if you don't ;D)**

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**Red Healing**

**3.**

Cho and Rigsby were driving back to the headquarters after the interview of Vanessa Campbell's closest friends. After a brief call from Van Pelt, they suggested the idea of the victim cheating on her husband. The woman was categorical: 'no way Ness would have cheated How; she loved him'. She did mention her friend was seeing another man, but only for the purpose of their book. If Ness had slept with her informant, she would have been the first to know and gossip about it. They transmitted the information back to the rookie, who told them in exchange Jane had arrived in the morning. After that last phone call, Rigsby had closed up. The ride back was spent in uncomfortable silence.

"Can you believe he's back?" the tall man suddenly snorted, arms crossed and glaring at the road. "Despite what he's done to Lisbon, he stills has the…disrespect of showing up like nothing happened?"

The Asian man sighed and dropped dryly:

"You'll never get over that case, won't you?"

"He _raped_ _Lisbon,_ Cho! Don't tell me you're over it!"

"Van Pelt had lunch with him last week. I was going to bring Elise to San Francisco to a painting exposition and ask him to tag along. Lisbon was the one to call him back. From all people, you should be the most understanding."

"How so?" the tall man snapped, angry his colleague and friend didn't share his point of view.

The Asian man shrugged.

"You tried to push him off a building. I don't remember him being angry at you afterwards."

"I was hypnotized!" Rigsby protested.

"True I forgot" Cho replied sarcastically. "And so was he."

To that, the taller man didn't reply and glared at the outside. The Asian man let it sink for a few minutes before deciding to add oil on the fire and said, deadpan:

"You're just angry at him because he offered a paper lotus to Van Pelt and she didn't tell you why."

At his words, Rigsby's eyes lightened with a cold irritation. Cho knew he was right when he pointed out he was just very, very jealous.

"She keeps repeating it's none of my business; that she does not need to justify herself. I know we parted ways, but…with _Jane_?"

Cho decided not to reply to this; free to the tall man to believe his ex-girlfriend was hooking up with Jane out of office hours. Rigsby fell silent for the rest of the trip, watching the urban landscape outside the window. When they arrived at the bullpen, before getting out of the car, the Asian man still warned:

"Don't go berserk over Jane when you see him. I know you are angry and all, but don't annoy everyone else with your stupid resentment. Everyone has forgiven him to some point. It's time for you to do the same."

"How can you expect me to…"

"He's in love with Lisbon and he raped her. How would you react if you raped Van Pelt and had to face the consequences?"

Rigsby opened his mouth to reply but nothing came out.

"That's what I thought" Cho said dryly. "Now let's go."

**-RH-**

"Jane, I think I have what you want."

The blond man jumped off his couch and headed towards the redhead's desk. The machine was printing the last page when she picked the few piece of paper and handed them to him.

"What are you expecting?" she asked with curiosity. "I checked their background and nothing seemed abnormal. The procedures were well-respected, even the delays normal…And I eventually got Smiley's medical background, nothing weird either."

"It's not that" the blond man replied, scanning quickly the papers a first time. "But thanks" he added, kissing her cheek. "You're a lifesaver."

At the very moment, Rigsby and Cho entered the bullpen. The taller man's face fell while Cho didn't dare comment. Jane stood straight again and smiled tentatively at them.

"Hi people"

Rigsby ignored him and headed to his desk while the Asian man stepped closer and gave him a firm handshake.

"Nice to see you again Jane."

After mumbling a 'thanks Cho', Jane stormed off towards his favourite couch and settled there, determined to find out what had been bothering him. He scanned and read over and over again the papers he had between the hands. The adoption certificates of the four Smiley kids, along with their medical background. Something had nagged him during his encounter with Mr Smiley. There was nothing wrong in adopting four children at once, but adding the fact they were all very young and with the latest one so quickly…He frowned in wonder. What was the link between it?

Maybe for once he was mistaking. Maybe there was nothing to look for, except a creepy guy surrounded with kids.

"You're okay Patrick?"

Van Pelt's voice interrupted his stream of thoughts. She was standing there, holding a cup of tea she handed out to him.

"I know I don't have Lisbon's magical touch but…I figured you'd want one. You haven't move for two hours."

Jane smiled gratefully and took the cup.

"Thanks, and don't worry. When tea is prepared with your kind of intentions, it always tastes good."

He took a first sip while the redhead sat on the closest chair. In the background, the blond man noticed Rigsby having a hard time not giving in to his impulses and stand up.

"I am sure she will forgive you in the end" the rookie said suddenly. "You two are very close…she saves you all the time and you even saved her once, with Hardy last year. I do believe you have a bound or something okay?"

He nodded absentmindedly. A year already. And six since he lost his family. He glanced at the papers abandoned on the couch and frowned. Six years…wasn't Janie adopted six years ago? He put the cup of tea aside and picked up the documents for another scanning. Janie was adopted six years prior, one week after he had found his wife and child butchered on their bed. Kris was adopted not so long ago…in fact, within the two weeks after Kristina Frye's abduction. And Carter had been under Smiley's tutorial for eight years. Wasn't one of Red John's first victims named…?

"I think I got the connexion" Jane blurted suddenly, jumping off his couch and catching the three other agent's attention. "Smiley and Red John are related by the kids. Each time he made a mistake or acted unpredictably, one was adopted and named after it."

Cho and Van Pelt jumped off their desk to join him and read over his shoulder.

"Carter was Red John's mistake, Kris is the diminutive of Kristina and Janie…" his voice trailed off sadly before getting a grip over himself and going on: "I don't know if he does that on Red John's account or if he is Red John but…"

"Wow slow down man" Cho interrupted. "Where did you get that anyway?"

"But it's too big to be just a coincidence" he went on, ignoring his colleague's cutting in; "the names, the dates they were adopted…"

"Maybe he is just a creepy mega-fan of Red John? Wesley and her boyfriend considered themselves artists…"

"Perhaps he is but I know he has something on Red John; I can feel it."

The two agents didn't offer an opinion, knowing Jane was too caught up in his reasoning to consider another point of view. Van Pelt still tried:

"If he was Red John, don't you think he would have harmed the children by now? I mean, they seem happy living with him and…"

She stopped talking at his pointed glare.

"Grace, you weren't there and you didn't see. That man has nothing of a pare…"

Suddenly, he froze. A parent. Lisbon's face after they were heading out of the Smiley's and he noted in her office moments earlier. He remembered where he had seen that expression. That particular mixture of awareness, nostalgia and fear; the same feelings Angela's features shown, when she first learnt she was pregnant. And that night, they hadn't used protection…

Shit. How could he be so stupid?

His former priority was thrown out of the window and he dropped every paper he held in hand to rush to Lisbon's office.

"We need to talk" he blurted, once inside and the door closed. Lisbon didn't pay attention to him. She was on the phone, a concentrated expression on her face. She took down notes in hurry and once the phone down, jumped off her chair and ran out:

"Everyone get their jackets, Mr Smiley has taken his own kids hostage and we're requested on the field!"

At her words, all agents hurried to the door. Jane sighed, followed, and arrived just in time to jump in the second SUV driven by Cho and…Rigsby. Great, he thought grimly, knowing the atmosphere was not going to be pleasant. At least, he knew the two were not likely to speak up, Rigsby being carefully watched by Cho, and Cho not exactly willing to chitchat. He could see thanks to the reviewer his tensed expression and caught a glimpse of his tightening fist around the steering wheel. The blond man sighed annoyingly. This anger was starting to get unnerving.

When they put on the sirens and crossed a red light, the taller man started speaking:

"Listen Jane, I know you were hypnotized and all but…"

Jane snarled impatiently. Any other day, he would have listened to the agent's talking, but being back on his good side was not exactly his priority at the moment. He could only think of Lisbon and what could possibly be the consequence of a very well-mounted revenge.

"You listen to me, Rigsby. What happened between Van Pelt and I is none of your business and if you are mad about Lisbon, sorry but even you couldn't have done otherwise either. Now shut up and drive I don't want Lisbon to go in there alone."

Rigsby bit back a disagreeable comment and went on driving. Cho didn't say a word either until they arrived. Their boss was already wearing the bullet-proof vest and heading towards the house through a bunch of police cars. Passer-bys were surrounding the place, as were journalists and cameras. The three men had a hard time passing through and reaching the place. Jane still managed to catch the woman's elbow before she eluded him and stared at her insistently:

"You want to go in there in your state?"

His sentence had the effect of a cold shower and she felt the blood drain from her face. He didn't need to voice it, but it was a fact. He knew. How, she didn't know, but he knew.

"Kids are in there Jane. I need to go. We'll talk about this later."

With a harsh gesture, she pulled out from him, grabbed her gun out of her holster and joined the others. He tried to stop her again, reaching for her forearm again.

"Li…"

"Later!" she barked, not because of anger but fearing she would lose composure. She avoided his eyes when she passed cross him. "And stay outside. I don't want you hurt."

"Lisbon!"

Before he could get a hold on her, she escaped his fingers and ran towards to house to join the SWAT team and her three subordinates. Jane could just watch her stop at the front door and wait for the signal of the people around. Knowing he would be more of a bother and might endanger Lisbon's life if he tried anything, the blond man opted to wander around to gather immediate updates. His senses increased when he eventually caught a conversation between a cop and one agent close to the entrance by radio. Apparently someone had already tried the negotiations inside, but without success. Two of the three kids inside were now dead and the madman was now threatening to shoot the last of if…

Jane's blood froze as he heard the reason why they had been called.

**-RH-**

"Agent Lisbon?" the officer of the law asked when she arrived closer, wearing a special jacket. When she nodded, he went on. "A neighbour called twenty minutes ago, saying he heard gunshot next door so we sent a unit. The first guy who went in was shot to the head and the second called for backup. He already killed two of his kids when we tried to negotiate…he's threatening to kill the last one unless you came to talk to him."

Lisbon nodded, feeling dizzy and uncomfortable. Something bad was about to happen, she could feel it in her bones. The cop signed her to go and she ran towards the house without liking back. Her focus was now solely on her new mission; to save the child. She cautiously entered the front door and glanced around. The body of a middle-aged man dressed in a cop uniform was lying a few feet behind, blood falling off his forehead from the perfectly aimed bullet right in the middle. She repressed a shiver of uneasiness and went on, following the corridor where she knew she would find the man.

A bullet whistled a few inches of her and she shouted:

"This is Agent Lisbon, CBI. You wanted to talk to me Mr Smiley."

There was a pause, soon followed by a pleasant voice answering.

"Oh, Agent Lisbon! How rude of me, I was waiting for you. Please come in."

The woman breathed in and slowly entered the room the madman was hidden in. She froze at the scene before her. The bloody bodies of Janie and Kris were lying on the floor, shot in the head. The last child was standing still in front of the madman, sobbing in fear while he was forced to play the shelter.

"Welcome Agent Lisbon; it's nice to see you so soon again."

The woman held back the need to puke. She could feel Rigsby and Cho right behind her, ready to cover her any moment.

"Let's stay calm here" she began to speak. "None of us want this to end…"

"Blah, blah, blah" the man interrupted with an annoyed tone. "We all know what you want, Agent Lisbon. You want me to release that kid so your obedient doggies will shoot me in the head and you'll go back all giddy and stuff with all the good agents congratulating you for your cold blood and stuff…Really, you thought I asked for you because I had a liking in you or something?"

The woman didn't reply, just tightened her grip on her gun and waited for the following.

"After you left, I had a call from Red John…and I was so thrilled" his voice trailed off dreamingly. "He told me he wanted something from me and I agreed immediately. Consequences aren't of my concerns; if it means I can help him in his plans…I knew the hostage situation would bring you straight to me, agent Lisbon. Red John likes grandiose…I had to make something big!"

"What did he ask you?" she asked sharply. "What does it have to do with me?"

If possible, his deranged grin widened even more.

"Don't worry Agent Lisbon, I don't want to kill _you_, that's not what he is looking for…yet" the mocking in his voice made her doubt it strongly. "He just wants the life of what you're hiding in your wombs."

Lisbon's free hand flew to her stomach in a protective gesture. Cho and Rigsby widened their eyes in surprise. Ryan Smiley laughed out loud.

"Like I expected from you, you didn't tell anyone didn't you."

The agent felt numb inside. How could he know? How could he know about her pregnancy? She hadn't known before the very morning herself. As if reading her thoughts, he whispered:

"Oh come on it was obvious. He kept a close eye on you Agent Lisbon. Now take off this horrible bullet proof vest, shall you? Or do you need some…encouragement"

The first shot hit Carter in his arm. The boy screamed in pain, tears running down his cheeks. Lisbon felt she had been stabbed. He was hurt, and it was her fault. She had to act quickly before he killed the last survivor of his massacre.

"Okay, I'll do it" she growled. "Don't hurt him anymore."

A wide grin spread on the madman's lips. The barrel of the gun was aimed on her as she undid slowly the attaches of her jacket. Rigsby and Cho could just watch her helplessly.

"You are some woman of a kind" Smiley said, smirking while the vest fell on the floor. "Headstrong, independent…and beautiful. Yes, beautiful, inside and out. He knew you would eventually turn out to be a distraction for Mr Jane…that the game they played would be interrupted by your presence. Without that _thing_ you're carrying, Mr Jane will be even more into the game don't you think?"

Lisbon had a very hard time controlling the trembling of her body. The barrel was aimed at her and the safety taken off. There, she knew for sure. She knew he was going to shoot. It became real, much more real when he pointed his weapon clearly to her stomach. Fear suddenly paralyzed her, along with a troubling thought. He was not only going to shoot, but he was also going to kill the baby. Her baby.

"Don't do this. Please don't."

She hated the sudden trembling of her voice; the vulnerability within, the pleading. A few hours earlier, she hated it; now, she just wanted to protect it. Was that what they called 'motherly instinct'? Did she, in the end, wanted…

"You don't want that child, Agent Lisbon" the man replied nonchalantly. "I am doing you a favour by getting rid of it for you."

"You don't know what I want" she replied as coolly as she could. The statement made him laugh and repeat amusingly:

"You don't know? Of course you do; you are just too straight-assed and hypocrite to allow yourself to think of it."

The trigger was pulled.

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**I just need to type down a passage plus fill another few lines and**** chapter 4 (and last) is done :D**

**In the meantime…**

**Thank you for reading so far!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Final chapter of this one (quicker than I thought xD!) Thank you for your patience and see you in another fic :D**

**I told you to expect a bittersweet ending for this story. Well...it will be.**

**Thanks to MJ2387; leelou09 Anna; Jisbon4ever; Kourion Mabeline36 (dunno...but I'm still glad you liked it :D) for their reviews! Thanks for the alerts and favourites too!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mentalist. This chapter was not beta-ed so mistakes are mine. Hope you'll enjoy it anyway (won't blame you if you don't :D)**

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**Red Healing 4**

It was completely dark outside, but the SCU team was still sitting at their respective desk, filling paperwork in a tensed silence. Their boss had ordered them to go back home, assuring she and Jane were enough to keep an eye on the evolution of Lisbon's situation. Since the waiting room was already full because of some train accident, they had reluctantly left the hospital but in common agreement, had driven to the headquarters instead. That was hours ago and so far, Hightower had only called them twice with no particular information.

Rigsby suddenly hit his desk with his fist angrily.

"I'm going back there, I can't stay here and sit around waiting!"

"What else can you do" Van Pelt muttered tiredly, going on typing her report. "Lisbon is still in surgery."

"But it had been _hours!_"

"She was shot twice in the abdomen while pregnant" Cho replied in turn. Despite his poker face, the anger in his voice was obvious. "She lost a lot of blood. Of course it's taking time."

Another silence filled the room. Learning about their boss's pregnancy had been a terrible shock for the whole team. Especially since they had a pretty good idea about the circumstances she got pregnant. They all knew since…that moment, she hadn't seen anyone. Despite showing off a strong face, they knew how shaken she really was inside.

"I will never forgive Jane" Rigsby muttered. "This whole mess is his fault."

"This is enough Wayne!" Van Pelt shot angrily, standing up of her chair. "None of this was his fault. He and Lisbon are _both_ victims and you know it! You are just angry because I never told you why Jane gave me that lotus."

The tall man glared at her.

"That's completely beside the point."

"It is not" she shot back, crossing her arms. "If you desperately want to know; nothing happened. He was just there when I needed a friend. If you hadn't been so obsessed by our so-called relationship, you would have _perhaps_ remembered I had a call that day from my family. It was…" her voice trailed off a little before she added on a softer tone: "…bad news. My brother had an accident and I had to stay late at work that night, later than Lisbon, and I just had a break down in front of him. He just served me some tea and listened to my ramblings. Then we talked about Lisbon and him trying to move on. After that, I went back home, took a shower and slept through the night. The lotus was just to cheer me up and thank me for listening at the same…" she paused, closing her eyes to keep her emotions in check. "I would have never slept with him, and neither would he. Now, are you done being selfish and will you try to forgive him?"

She didn't wait for his answer and headed back to her desk. Cho didn't spill a word when he exchanged a glance with Rigsby, and went back to his work as well. The tall man merely shook his head. The silence and the waiting started again.

**-RH-**

Jane was starting to lose patience. He and Hightower had been waiting for hours after the team was sent back to the office, and his nerves were tiring him. Each time a nurse would walk into the room, she would call someone else's name or just inform them Lisbon was still in surgery. Soon, he was the only one left in the waiting room. The black woman had left a little earlier to check on her family and promised to come back within fifteen minutes. The blond man didn't even have the courage to pick up the phone and call the team to inform them about the current situation. All could do was wait, sitting on a chair, arms crossed, for an update on his boss and friend's situation.

A sudden shake made him open his eyes and he realised he must have fallen asleep. Light was passing through the curtains; it was morning. A nurse he hadn't seen before smiled shyly:

"I'm sorry to wake you up sir, but are you here for Miss Teresa Lisbon?"

The blond man jumped on his feet immediately.

"Is the surgery done? How is she?"

The young woman put a hand on his shoulder in attempt to sooth him.

"Sir, I need you to calm down. Miss Lisbon had a severe wound and lost a lot of blood, but she will be fine. The doctors stabilized her and she is in recovery room."

"Can I see her?" he asked straight away. "Even through the window I don't care as long as I see her."

He needed to verify her current state with his own eyes. To be sure she was physically okay. Before the woman could answer though, a man in white blouse stepped in the room, holding a file in hand.

"You are family of Miss Lisbon?" he asked, staring at Jane. The blond man nodded.

"Mister…" the nurse hesitated, not knowing Jane's name and when he didn't help her, just went on: "wants to visit Miss Lisbon."

The doctor nodded.

"Understandable; and you may. But before that, I need a word with you."

**-RH-**

After calling the team to share the news, Jane was brought to Lisbon's room. He hesitated in front of the door a few moments, wondering if he was the best candidate to visit her first. The team would arrive in fifteen minutes and Hightower was already gone. But Lisbon was awake, and alone. So, making up his mind, he breathed deeply and pushed the door open. She was there, lying in the white bed, skin deadly pale; a blood transfusion bag on the left. It broke his heart to see her so vulnerable. He hated the vision, especially when he was the reason why she was lying there.

"Lisbon?" he called her softly from the doorframe.

She didn't bulge, though he was certain she heard him; her eyelids had blinked once when he called her name. He took it as an invitation to come in and stepped closer.

"How did it end?" she asked quietly when he was close enough. "Is the boy safe?"

He sat down on the nearest chair and, in a bold move, took her hand in his and squeezed it gently. She didn't react at his touch.

"Smiley used Carter to protect himself against a sniper...He didn't suffer."

Lisbon's expression tightened.

"And Smiley?"

"Van Pelt shot him down from behind. Rigsby and Cho couldn't do it from their angle, or they would have touched you."

His voice trailled off worringly when she didn't move at first. Certainly noticing the silence, Lisbon frowned and turned towards him. When she saw the expression on his face, she shook her head in discontent.

"Don't you look at me like that. I was shot, it's not the first time and it won't be the last."

"You were shot in the abdomen while pregnant Lisbon. You shouldn't take it so lightly."

The woman didn't answer, just stared somewhere in front of her in silence. Her left hand rested over her stomach. A bandage was covering her partially. She swallowed with difficulties, asking the question suddenly plaguing her mind.

"Is it…Is it gone?"

His thumb stroked the back of her hand gently. His voice sounded thick and weak when he spoke again:

"I'm sorry. They couldn't save it."

Her facial expression didn't change, but he could read through her eyes what she was feeling. Pain, sadness…unhappy feelings he wished he could chase away. The child was dead. She had lost a baby for nothing. Perhaps it was too early to tackle the subject, but he needed to know. He asked as gently as he could:

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Tears formed in the corner of her eyes. He took her chin in his fingers and turned her face towards him. His grip wasn't forceful, and she could have easily dodged his gaze if she wanted.

"I...I learnt about it the morning you came back and...I didn't want it" she confessed, her voice creaking. "When I learnt I was pregnant, I just wanted it gone. Now…" she stared at him straight in the eye, tears slowly sliding alongside her cheeks. "Now I think that I could have got used to it. Raised it and…seeing it grow. I just needed time and…things would have turned out okay...with time."

His heart tightened at her heartbroken sight. She was thinking of raising it alone, without him, and frankly it bothered him. Having another child was...something he was sure he could have gone through, but he wouldn't have left her alone in her misery; she should have known that. Another wave of guilt slowly crept inside. He couldn't repeat now what the doctor had told him earlier. Because of her wound, he hinted it would be extremely difficult for her to get pregnant again. Jane rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb for comfort.

"I'm sorry" he whispered. She shook her head.

"'T's not exactly your fault Jane. If you want to blame someone, blame Carmen. Blame Hendrix. But don't blame yourself. I'm not mad at _you_."

Her voice trailed off sleepily and he figured he should better leave now. Behind him, he could hear voiced announcing the team was around and wanted to visit too. He stood up, hesitated, and impulsively kissed her forehead. She showed no sign of disgust or approval, nor did she try to stop him from leaving, so he just headed out of the room, praying she would be better soon.

**-RH-**

They kept Lisbon for a few weeks of observation. The medical team was very performant -Jane had checked their background himself- and he visited her every day. At the begining, she was cold and distant, but then he knew she was anticipating his visits, for his glance became warmer when he showed up. It didn't turn into a great smile, in fact just a twinkle in the depth of her green orbs, but it was enough for him. When she was soon to be checked out of the hospital, he volunteered to take care of her, and despite Rigsby's protests, everyone agreed. The day she was out, he noted every prescription the doctors ordered before taking her to his car and drove her home directly. After they arrived in the parking lot, he stepped out immediately to open the door for her.

"I'll help you."

Her lack of reaction –very often lately- worried him once again. In a good day, she would have just pushed him away and argued she was big enough to take care of herself. Now, she merely let him accompany her to her door apartment and guide her to her living room.

He helped her showering and cooked dinner for both of them. After washing the dishes, they settled in front of the television. None have spoken since they have arrived and Lisbon didn't seem in the mood for it. When the clock stroke eleven, Jane turned towards her and said gently:

"Maybe we should call it a night."

Lisbon shrugged in return and muttered, standing out of the couch:

"Whatever."

They headed upstairs in silence again. The blond man could feel her tense while they came closer to the room, both remembering what had occurred behind the closed door only a few weeks before. He was so focused on his memories he almost didn't hear her speak.

"Patrick?"

He blinked and turned back his attention on her. She never called him by his first name unless something was wrong. Very wrong. And as he analysed her facial expression and body language, he didn't like what he saw. She was tired of fighting something, what he didn't know exactly; but he had a pretty good idea of what she wanted when he looked in her eyes.

"Please, hold me."

"Lisbon, I…"

"The doctor told me that given the impact of the shot, I might not be able to…to have kids. That…that being pregnant was going to be difficult for me; difficult and dangerous. That…"

Her voice broke completely. The blond man stared at her, stunned. He had never seen her so miserable. Her hand rested on his cheek, and her thumb brushed the corner of his mouth.

"I need to hold on to someone Patrick. I need it or I am going to loose it."

This time, he circled her shoulders with his arms and held her tightly. Her breath steadied slowly and her sobs became less audible. Suddenly, he felt fingers caressing his chest, hands undoing his buttons. He froze. She needed to let go. He knew that after a shock, most people needed to cry or let their anger or sadness out before they busted. But he didn't expect her to react like that.

"Lisbon, I don't think it's a good…"

"Shut up" her voice was so dry yet strained; he didn't have the heart to stop her. "I just want to forget a few moments."

"Teresa, you are tired and even so I don't think I'm the ideal candida…"

"On the contrary, I think you are the perfect one."

He crossed her eyes and that was enough to turn him quiet. She knew what he had done, she was there and she was still suffering of it. And he understood that because of that very fact, he _was_ the ideal one. He had hurt her, violated her, and because she knew he would never, ever _dare_ try to do something against her will again. It was selfish of her and wrong…she was just using him.

But when her lips brushed his, he didn't fight her and held her tighter.

Her hands slid over his chest and pushed his now opened vest off his shoulders. Her warm body flattened against his, sighs of desire and longing expired in his ear. He should have stopped them. He should have put a halt to the thing that was obviously leading to be one of their biggest mistakes. But he didn't. He didn't, for one selfish reason. Since that night, he couldn't stop thinking about her. Since that night, he just wanted to feel her by his side again, to feel the warmth of her skin, to breathe her. He wanted her badly and would gladly take anything she'd throw at him willingly; even if ended up breaking him.

So when her hands started undoing his pants, when her lips nibbled his ear and left a trail of kisses along his jaw, he didn't think twice and kissed her with everything he had.

**-RH-**

When Jane woke up the next morning, he was half surprised to feel a dead weight on his left arm and a warm body cuddling his. His eyes encountered a peaceful sleeping face close to his, half-covered with dark hair in a mess. Her arms were folded against her chest protectively. He tried to move, releasing her from his grip, but the movement ended in waking her up. Tired eyes met his and he couldn't help but smile slightly. She was so beautiful in the morning light.

"Hey" he greeted gently, afraid she would freak out and jump out of the bed.

"Hey" she replied, before closing her lids again and snuggling more under the covers. "Don't get up yet."

Jane complied with her demand and held her again. She fell back asleep in seconds and somehow, he followed her soon after. When he woke up again, he was alone. Lisbon hadn't been up for long though, since he could still feel some warmth on the empty side of the bed. He stepped out, dressed up, and headed to the kitchen where he could hear metallic sounds. The woman was cooking some eggs when he arrived, only dressed in an oversized jersey and shorts.

"Morning Patrick" she said pleasantly; remains of tiredness in her voice and betraying no other feeling. "Have you slept well?"

He shrugged in response and asked her the same.

"As well as someone can do in these conditions, I guess" she replied smoothly before cutting the gas and showing the content of the pan. "Do you like eggs?"

While he did not like her almost light mood, Jane nodded and took out two plates from the cupboard. Lisbon dropped the food in each and offered him a range of extras to go with it. They ate breakfast in silence, Jane trying to analyse her unexpected behaviour and she not betraying any true feelings while digging in her plate. And once again, he didn't like it. He didn't like the fact she was not translucent today, and apparently unwilling to talk about their previous night and the possible consequences on their relationship, whatever it was now. Somehow, he felt he was facing himself.

"I did some thinking while you were in bed, about Red John and everything" she suddenly announced. "And I came up to the only conclusion possible to content everyone."

Something had changed in her eyes. There wasn't that naïve light anymore; it had been replaced by something darker and it frightened him. Lisbon was never...dark.

"I won't stop you from killing him" she eventually said, staring at her breakfast. "That is, if you find him first."

Jane frowned at her words.

"You mean you are not going to stop me unless you and the team get to him right?"

"No. I mean if you find him first, you get to kill him. If _I_ do, I won't let the bastard survive either. Nothing will change at work; we run after criminals, we put them in prison, you anger the AG and I save your ass…but I'll make an exception for Red John; do you get it?"

A strange feeling mixed with dread and satisfaction started creeping in him. Lisbon was eating breakfast and acting normally, except for the part she had just blurted him coolly that she would sort of compete with him to kill Red John? As if reading his thoughts, she put her fork down and raised her head towards him. The shadow in her eye was there again.

"He pushed Smiley to shoot three kids right in front of me and kill my baby Patrick. I will never forgive him."

Jane knew that tone. She would never heal from the loss of that child, even though she didn't want it at the beginning. She was falling into that maddening spiral of revenge in turn, and he was too damaged to try to save her. Lisbon stood from her chair, came closer and slipped her hands in his blond curls. Her emerald eyes were analysing him, silently asking if he was agreeing. Red John was right. The woman was distracting him from his revenge and in the end, could have been his salvation.

Now, he had tainted her too.

The blond man stood up and kissed her to show his accord, hands on her hips, bringing her closer. Perhaps this was just a spur of the moment; perhaps she will come back on her words during the next days and distance herself from him; perhaps she truly believed what she just blurted and had just chosen to follow him in his quest blindly. He just hoped, as her hands undid his shirt again, that this wasn't the warnings of an upcoming breakdown. He just hope she could overcome her pain like the strong woman she had always been; and that the day Red John's identity will be revealed, she wouldn't beat him to find the man and _he_ wouldn't be the one mourning over the body of another loved one. Because if she _did_ fell in the same dark waters he was already deep into, then no-one would be there to prevent their downfall.

And as she sat on the border of her table, kissing his throat hungrily and he finished undressing her, he couldn't help but think grimly that now he had another reason to be her ideal lover…

**-RH-**

"_He pushed Smiley to shoot three kids__ right in front of me and kill my baby Patrick. I will never forgive him."_

Lisbon's voice stopped and was replaced by soft moans. The man smirked and turned the radio down. He didn't need to hear his favourite prey and his girlfriend screwing on the kitchen table. Although Carter, Kris and Janie's death were not planned –children were innocent to the world, so even if Smiley had survived, he would have killed him to teach that man a lesson- everything went as planned. Perhaps even better than he thought.

Before the…incident, he only had Patrick Jane as worthy opponent. His aim, by killing his new child, had been to crush him again, and give another whip to his hate. Now, not only he had a revengeful Patrick Jane after him, but his girlfriend, Teresa Lisbon, was about to step into the game. The thought made him shiver with delight. The agent, he had noted before, was smart and resourceful. Maybe given her full potential, she wasn't going to disappoint him…

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**That was not the ending I was**** planning to do, honest :s. At first I was thinking of Lisbon healing slowly or changing unit or something…**

**T****hank you for reading so far and I hope you enjoyed it…somehow :)**


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